He Restores my Soul

 

He Restores My Soul 

(Psalm 23)

One practice I have deepened during this course is the intentional study of Scripture. I have learned to sit quietly in my time with the Lord and read his word with a fresh perspective. Instead of reading to check a box or prepare a sermon, I am reading for the primary purpose of getting to know our Father better. This shift from a task-oriented approach to a relational one has changed how I view my daily rhythms. It is no longer about gathering information but about being present with God.

I chose this practice because I often face the pressure of a busy schedule and the "detrimental system" of constant productivity. As a leader and a student, it is easy to let my own spiritual life become secondary to the needs of others. By slowing down to study, I am strengthened as an agent of God's mission. This practice anchors me. It ensures that when I enter systems of accountability, I am doing so from a place of spiritual fullness rather than exhaustion. It creates a space where I can hear the voice of the Father clearly before I try to lead his people.

This focus on slow, relational study feels different than my previous experiences with hospitality. While hospitality is an outward expression of love, this kind of study is the inward fuel that makes outward love possible. In our class discussions about the church as a sent community, I have realized that we cannot be sent effectively if we do not know the Heart of the one who sends us. Taking my time with the Word has enlivened my thinking by showing me that my maturity is not measured by how much I do, but by how well I know Him.

I painted this the other day after my time of intentional Bible study

and sitting in silence with Him.

Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary

I thought about how G.K. Chesterton views the world. He suggests that God is like a child who never gets tired of the same game. While I might get bored of seeing the sun rise every single day, God is perhaps leaning over the edge of heaven saying, "Do it again!" to the sun. This perspective has changed how I look at my time in this master's program.

The rhythm of reading, reflecting, posting, and responding can feel very repetitive. It is easy to see these tasks as just boxes to check. However, God has used this very monotony to build something steady in me. Through the consistent habit of opening books and engaging with my peers, I have developed a disciplined heart. God is not just in the big mountain-top moments. He is in the quiet, daily act of showing up. He has produced in me a spirit that is not easily shaken by change because I have learned to find Him in the routine.

This reminds me of the practice of silence and solitude. At first, sitting in silence feels incredibly uncomfortable. It is the same chair, the same quiet, and the same internal struggle every time. It seems monotonous because nothing "happens." But when I look at the world around me, the way the grass grows or how the seasons slowly turn, I see that God loves slow work. Silence becomes a source of enjoyment because it allows me to admire His creation without the noise of my own voice.

Because of the accountability from my professors and fellow students, I have become a leader who is more grounded. They have held me to a standard of excellence that I could not reach alone. I am now a person who values the community of the church more than the isolation of my own ideas. To the glory of God, I am becoming a shepherd who finds joy in the simple, repetitive work of loving people.

Prayer over Performance

 In my journey as a pastor, I often find myself looking for the next way to grow our church network. One goal I pursued that I now see as not appropriate was the timing of our first official expansion phase for Family Gathering Church. I wanted to start a second home site within the first six months of our launch. This was not a sinful goal. It came from a good heart that wants to see people follow the Great Commission. However, it was not the right time for our small community.

I pursued this goal because I felt a heavy pressure to show progress. I thought that if we were not multiplying fast, then we were not being faithful to the vision. I also think my own desire to be a "Developer" pushed me to move faster than the Spirit was moving. I was focusing on the numbers and the structure rather than the depth of the roots we were planting. We needed more time to sit together and learn how to be a family before we tried to split into two.

The writings of Teresa of Ávila on "Striving to Make Progress" are a great asset for me here. She talks about the soul as a garden and reminds us that we are not the ones who make the rain fall. Her focus on internal stillness helps me see that my goals should come from a place of prayer rather than a place of performance. When I practice the quietness she describes, I can discern if a goal is my own ambition or a true leading from God. Her wisdom teaches me that true progress is often slow and hidden. By practicing this kind of spiritual focus, I can set goals that honor the current season instead of rushing into the next one.