This course has allowed me to look at how God works through my past and my present. I have seen that God does not waste any experience. My relationship with God feels even more like a partnership now. I am learning to listen better before I act. At times, I used to think I needed to have every plan perfect. Now I pause and see that God is the one who finishes the work. My relationship with myself has changed because I am more kind to my own soul. I see that I am a person God is forming, not just a worker for a job. My relationships with others are deeper because I am even more present. I recognize that we are all on this journey together.
The spiritual practices were very helpful. Sitting in silence was hard at first. I am used to being busy. I learned that silence is where I hear God most clearly. This has impacted my formation by slowing me down. I am currently in a place where I value peace over productivity. John Franke writes about how missional theology is about God’s mission, not ours. This takes the pressure off me. I do not have to carry the whole world. I just have to be faithful to the small part God gave me.
My mentoring of others has grown. I now focus more on who the people I am mentoring are becoming. I share my own struggles more often. This creates a safe space for them to be honest. I learned from Michael Goheen that the church has a vocation to be a light. In my mentor meetings with Sherri, we talked about how I cannot lead others where I have not gone myself. If I want those I lead to have healthy souls, I must have a healthy soul too. I am teaching them that accountability is not about being in trouble. It is about being loved enough to stay on the right path.
Sustainable ministry looks different to me now. It looks like a life that has rhythm. It means taking time to rest so I can serve from a full heart. Alan Roxburgh talks about how we are in a time of transition. This means I do not have to have all the answers. I just need to be willing to walk with people. I want to build a network of home churches that focuses on deep roots instead of fast growth. This is more sustainable for me and for the leaders I train. It prevents burnout because we are doing life together in small, honest groups.
I want to make new commitments. I commit to God that I will keep my morning silence. I commit to myself that I will not say yes to things that hurt my family time. I commit to others that I will be a leader who listens first. I want to live out the justice John Perkins speaks about by being present in my local community. I am excited to see how God keeps growing me after this class ends.
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